By Justice Kesinger
I am looking for a word that means my love
and a place for a boat
where I don’t need a moat
to be in a castle
that no one can breach
I always thought that she was far beyond my reach
but here I am
down by the marina
on the dock
where no clouds can block the full moon in front of me
I never thought I would see the day
I wouldn’t need the series of lies I told myself in the morning to keep me at bay
Now I wake up knowing she’s there
Soft touch and the smell of her hair
who would have guessed a fear of water
would lead me to drown in Marina
I love him, and he loves me. That’s all it should take. Right?
Love is relative to circumstance. I know we love one another for things we have no control over. The fact that its his first job. And my first job in New York is pretty wild. Especially seeing as we’re from different places. We love who we love, for who we allow ourselves to be with one another. I know he can do a lot better than me. I know he deserves someone emotionally available. I am not that person. But I do love him for all he is. All he can, and will be one day. I know he will amount to spectacular things. And I want to be there to see that. Or maybe I am that person that gets people on their way an as soon as they are about to succeed I run away. That’s fucked man. It’s happened too many times. I need to stick with this one, for a while. I want to. I will. I am my only worst enemy. And I know, or more so, I think he wants to be with me for a long time. I guess it depends on who he will become soon. I’m always in the way of people. Or maybe not in the way, but more like the guider or sheep herder of too many. I need to find people who are set and settled and aware of who they are. But I love him. I do. I’ll just have to do all I can to show him the love he deserves.
I suppose das not it. Selfishness is something I’m good at dishing out but bad at taking. I feel betrayed in a sense. I feel as though he picked his frieda and drugs over me. Comparing me to an alcoholic. How dare he Even think saying that about the girl he “loves”.
I can’t believe this. I suppose I need to get a new job and than figure the rest out. All I have now is a job and a home, which is slowly but surely turning into a place I no longer know. That’s fine, things change, and people move on, lets just see how long this will last. How much more of this I can take. I’ve been getting more and more angry every day. That isn’t healthy for anyone, especially someone who already had those tendencies. I need to go, somewhere else. Run far far away from this place because all this anger is poisonous and unhealthy. It’s going to cause a cancer.
Ce la vie
by Kristi D
Love, the real kind, is never simple.
It is the one thing that makes life worth it in the end,
and something that wonderful and sought-after is never going to be easy to get.
You have to work for it.
Blood, sweat, and tears.
So if it’s easy, yeah maybe you won’t get broken.
But you won’t be truly happy, either.
You’ll be settling.
Don’t get me wrong,
There are lots of things in life that are totally acceptable to settle on.
Sure, Harvard was your dream school.
But you know what?
Going to your state school because its more affordable
Will still get you where you want to be in life.
And I know the hairdresser couldn’t match the color you showed her,
But you are beautiful and can rock it anyway, so don’t worry.
Settling in love is like buying a pair of shoes that are a size too small,
Just because you thought they were pretty.
They may look nice,
But you are dying on the inside. I
f you had just held out a bit longer,
You would have found a pair just as beautiful that fit well, too.
Maybe that nice guy looks good on paper,
But if he doesn’t give you butterflies whenever he looks at you,
Don’t be with him.
You want someone who makes you fall for them every day,
Not just once.
Questions of Emptiness
by Sandy-Neesha Edwin
What can be done to **consume** this feeling of *emptiness*
What can we done when we’re broken into *a million pieces*
And how do we fix the broken pieces together
How do we learn to love again
What do we believe in .. when there’s nothing left to believe in
What do we hope for when all dreams are blurred
How can we heal and forget the wounds when they plague our minds
How do we become blind to the scars that are left behind
What becomes inspiration when the faith fades
Are happy endings hopeful in nothing but chaos
How can we keep hoping when *reality promises noone a happy ending*
How can an immaculate being hurt you so profoundly
And how can you still be able to love him
When will the light outshine all the darkness
And when will the swift wind destroy all this confusion
When will stars align
And When will the moon shine at it’s greatest intensity
How do we escape misery’s stifling grip
And how can a fear so consuming be diminished
Can this sinking feeling be controlled
Why do we become so numb
How do we leave when we’re being pulled by the forces of profound emotions
And the longing of a fragile heart
**But why .. do we all strive to be loved when love becomes so detrimental..**